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Garbage in, Garbage out.

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 18, 2011 by Haylei

So you know that thing you got in your head called a brain? a mind? Sometimes it becomes sick, and there’s a battle going on up there that you don’t always want to admit to, or focus on..but when you get right down to it, it’s hard to ignore because you begin to hear your inner most thoughts. No, that doesn’t make you phys-co..it makes you normal. Whether you want to believe it or not, your mind has a lot to do with your life. It affects the way you act, the way you see yourself and the struggles in life. It affects your view and perspective, and it can even affect your health. That’s right, your BODILY health. How, you ask? Because you begin to bottle things up, for various reasons. You don’t want to make someone mad, look down upon you, someone’s view on you change, think you’re bad-mouthing others, or simply because…it makes you seem like you’re whining since you have “problems.”
I’m one of those people. I choose to not talk sometimes, because I think it makes me sound like I’m whining, that I don’t have the “backbone” to deal with things by myself. Well, that’s a bunch of poop..because you’re not SUPPOSED to deal with it all by yourself! That’s why the Lord places certain people in your life, only IF for a season! And uh, hello! THE LORD IS STILL THERE! For He even says in Hebrews 13, Verses 5 and 6 (From: The Message)

5 -6Don’t be obsessed with getting more material things. Be relaxed with what you have. Since God assured us, “I’ll never let you down, never walk off and leave you,” we can boldly quote,

God is there, ready to help;
I’m fearless no matter what.
Who or what can get to me?”

He promises not to walk off and forget you..so if YOU are not where YOU need to be with Him, then who do you honestly think moved?

Recently, I have gone through a really rough and heart wrenching break up. Not because it’s ugly and we were at each others throats…but because it was such a hard decision for ME to make. I spent countless hours praying about it, asking God to give me the confirmation I needed in order to make this decision easier for me to make…because I had given my heart away before HE was ready to give ME away. The God we serve as Christians, is a JEALOUS God. He wants ALL of us, not just bits and pieces of us. That means all of us, even in a relationship.
Read that again.
He wants ALL of us, even in a relationship.
I never really understood what all that meant when I heard it in sermons, and in my youth group. I just remember always hearing “Be evenly yoked.” I just thought that meant in marriage, and that it wouldn’t completely apply in a relationship. Well, I was wrong. I began to realize that I was “justifying” things that happened, or didn’t happen, in the relationship to make it work in my –mind–. To ease up my thoughts at night so that I may sleep and just get through another day, when, that’s not the Lord’s plan. He doesn’t want us to ‘Just get by.’ He wants us to have life abundantly! He wants us to have great Joy and to lie in His arms in His peace! So why do we continue to fight it!?
—>Because we are HUMAN. We are flesh, and have “needs” as people call them. Emotional, mental, physical needs that “have” to be met in order for the relationship to be all that the WORLD wants it to be. And that is a LIE FROM THE DEVIL!
I spent many nights, listening to worship music in order to make my mind calm down..calling out to my DaddyGod, asking Him to come and surround me so that I may sleep soundly. Asking Him to guide my steps where He wants them to be…and WANTED them to be in the first place, before I decided to do my own thang, and say “see ya” basically.

So what have I learned in the last month?

1. Peace is something that takes time. It’s something that, when you’re asking for it, you might as well be asking for patience. It’s something that doesn’t come easy, but once you have it, you see things in a whole new perspective. The key to peace? To really, whole-heartedly give it to God. Not just give it to Him and still have a hand on it..making sure that He IS taking care of it, but trusting that He already has, and is going to continue to. It’s also stepping out on faith that, “Okay Lord, this isn’t easy, but I’m going to anyway.” When You finally have peace, you’ve also learned patience, how to trust, how to step out on Faith, and that, the Lord really is good and knows all and really does mean what He says in Jeremiah 29:11 ( “I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.” -The Message- Version.) It’s something that doesn’t always happen overnight, but is a process, just like every thing else.
2. That “If you’re compromising your faith, then you’re compromising what you believe in..and if you don’t know what you believe in, then what are you going to stand for?”
3. That, you shouldn’t compromise your faith for anyTHING, or anyONE. If you feel like you have to, that is NOT what or who the Lord designed for you to have. The Lord does not speak in confusion or contradiction, so if you are confused…That is SATAN attacking you and trying to move you off the path you were designed to be upon in the first place.
4. That when you bottle things up, like emotions or things that are ON YOUR MIND…it makes you physically sick. For me, it really does. I begin to feel sick to my stomach, and you know..I actually do throw up. I throw up my thoughts..I “purge” myself. Most of the time not voluntarily. Most of the time, it’s the people who know me best that either make me so mad I just let it all out, or they continue to ask me till I just spill everything. Literally. I go onto a rampant, and talk 90 to nothin with barely taking any breaths and I feel better afterwards.

 

I think it’s time to take a stand for OUR MINDS. We hear about it for a our bodies, and we get preached about if for our souls..but it’s time we stomp the enemy and say enough is enough and take back our minds. Take back our thoughts.
Philippians 4:8-9 (The Message) ” 8 -9Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies. ”

No matter if you like it or not…how much you don’t want to do it, or don’t think you can…you must if the Lord is telling you too. For you will reap what you sow. If you sow into the things you know are right, you will begin to reap blessings; BUT, if you sow into the things you know AREN’T right, and you KNOW you shouldn’t be doing them/engaging in them/carrying on in them, then you will reap the consequences of those actions.

It all boils down to what you think upon and what you fill your mind with.

Like the saying goes:
“Garbage in, Garbage out.”

What will you fill your mind with?

-h

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Hide and Speak?

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 31, 2010 by Haylei

So, I apologize for not writing in a while. It’s been a bit of a whirlwind the past few months. But! The Lord is faithful, good, and took care of me just in time!

I have something that has been laid on my heart, and once again, it’s going to step on a couple of toes.

Relationships.
Yes, I said the word. Relationships are hard..and it’s something that you have to work at daily..but recently, I’ve had a bit of a change of view on the outlook I hold on them. I’ve been in this spot a couple of times, but just moments before I began to write this, it just kinda hit me in the face and I was like…”dang..that kinda sucks worse when you think about it like that.”
I’ve been put in this position, where I’m missed..but the guy that’s telling me that, is taken. I know, shame on him right? No. He’s entitled to his own feelings..and it’s good he’s being honest with it. I’m not one to judge or anything, and you shouldn’t either. He’s entitled to have feelings, but like I said, I’m glad that he’s honest about it and not hiding
Today I told him basically that if you can’t hang out with me in broad daylight without your girlfriend getting upset, why would hanging out “secretively” be any different?
For those of you out there thinking, “Well haylei, what she don’t know won’t hurt her.”

Wrong.

I mean isn’t that kinda what we do to our Father? Daddy God (as I call Him)? I mean..we are sooo deathly scared of hangin out with him in public, yet we are okay with it when the door is shut and certain people aren’t around.
Why should you be ashamed of Him outside of the door and not in? If you’re going to praise Him, praise Him at ALL times. Same goes for the opposite, if you’re going to shun and ignore Him outside and around your “friends” and in  broad daylight..then you should do the same thing inside too.
We’ve all heard the saying, “you can’t have your cake and eat it too.” My saying? “You can’t have your cake AND ice cream.” Yes, they are good together, but you can’t have the best of both worlds. Period. You can’t straddle the fence or cross the line when things get tough..you have to, at some point, make a decision and pick a side.

You’ve gotta let this sink in.
Why be in a pointless relationship, right? That goes the same for Daddy God. Why would you be in an earthly relationship that you can’t talk to your significant other about your other relationship with Jesus, huh? Dude, come on now. Get real. You know that’s just dumb. Quit ignoring Him and puttin’ Him in a box! You can’t just take Him out and tell Him what you need and then put Him back in…it’s called COMMUNICATION! Meaning, you have to listen not just as much, but TWICE as much as you talk. And trust me, that is a struuuggglle for me. 😛 I love to talk..I can talk to God for hours and then just fall asleep on Him, and yes, He’s always going to love me, but He’s a jealous God. He doesn’t just want part of us or little bits and pieces of us…He wants us all. He is so madly in love with us that He gave His son for us. Some of you out there, know what it’s like to lose your only child..I can only imagine. But imagine trying to WILLINGLY give  your son or daughter up…so that others may live. So that OTHER parents can have their sons and daughters.
Could you do that?
I don’t know if I could or not honestly. That would be hard. And you gotta think of what Jesus’ mother experienced. WATCHING her Son die. Being beaten, battered and bruised…hung on a cross…just struggling to breathe. Watching Him take His last breath..again I ask, could you do that?

Last week at Oneless, the Lord spoke and said the following:
“How desperate, is desperate? How lost, is lost?
How desperate do you have to be to call for help? How completely and utterly lost do you have to be to finally ask for directions?
All you have to do is call My Name, and I will be there. No matter how faint the whisper, or loud the yell, I will swoop you up in My arms and save you. ”

Psalm 138:3
“The moment I called out, You stepped in; You made my life large with strength.”

I don’t think I need a question or a profound statement to end..I think it all speaks for itself.
Just let it…
Sink.
In.

-h