Archive for Faith

Garbage in, Garbage out.

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 18, 2011 by Haylei

So you know that thing you got in your head called a brain? a mind? Sometimes it becomes sick, and there’s a battle going on up there that you don’t always want to admit to, or focus on..but when you get right down to it, it’s hard to ignore because you begin to hear your inner most thoughts. No, that doesn’t make you makes you normal. Whether you want to believe it or not, your mind has a lot to do with your life. It affects the way you act, the way you see yourself and the struggles in life. It affects your view and perspective, and it can even affect your health. That’s right, your BODILY health. How, you ask? Because you begin to bottle things up, for various reasons. You don’t want to make someone mad, look down upon you, someone’s view on you change, think you’re bad-mouthing others, or simply because…it makes you seem like you’re whining since you have “problems.”
I’m one of those people. I choose to not talk sometimes, because I think it makes me sound like I’m whining, that I don’t have the “backbone” to deal with things by myself. Well, that’s a bunch of poop..because you’re not SUPPOSED to deal with it all by yourself! That’s why the Lord places certain people in your life, only IF for a season! And uh, hello! THE LORD IS STILL THERE! For He even says in Hebrews 13, Verses 5 and 6 (From: The Message)

5 -6Don’t be obsessed with getting more material things. Be relaxed with what you have. Since God assured us, “I’ll never let you down, never walk off and leave you,” we can boldly quote,

God is there, ready to help;
I’m fearless no matter what.
Who or what can get to me?”

He promises not to walk off and forget if YOU are not where YOU need to be with Him, then who do you honestly think moved?

Recently, I have gone through a really rough and heart wrenching break up. Not because it’s ugly and we were at each others throats…but because it was such a hard decision for ME to make. I spent countless hours praying about it, asking God to give me the confirmation I needed in order to make this decision easier for me to make…because I had given my heart away before HE was ready to give ME away. The God we serve as Christians, is a JEALOUS God. He wants ALL of us, not just bits and pieces of us. That means all of us, even in a relationship.
Read that again.
He wants ALL of us, even in a relationship.
I never really understood what all that meant when I heard it in sermons, and in my youth group. I just remember always hearing “Be evenly yoked.” I just thought that meant in marriage, and that it wouldn’t completely apply in a relationship. Well, I was wrong. I began to realize that I was “justifying” things that happened, or didn’t happen, in the relationship to make it work in my –mind–. To ease up my thoughts at night so that I may sleep and just get through another day, when, that’s not the Lord’s plan. He doesn’t want us to ‘Just get by.’ He wants us to have life abundantly! He wants us to have great Joy and to lie in His arms in His peace! So why do we continue to fight it!?
—>Because we are HUMAN. We are flesh, and have “needs” as people call them. Emotional, mental, physical needs that “have” to be met in order for the relationship to be all that the WORLD wants it to be. And that is a LIE FROM THE DEVIL!
I spent many nights, listening to worship music in order to make my mind calm down..calling out to my DaddyGod, asking Him to come and surround me so that I may sleep soundly. Asking Him to guide my steps where He wants them to be…and WANTED them to be in the first place, before I decided to do my own thang, and say “see ya” basically.

So what have I learned in the last month?

1. Peace is something that takes time. It’s something that, when you’re asking for it, you might as well be asking for patience. It’s something that doesn’t come easy, but once you have it, you see things in a whole new perspective. The key to peace? To really, whole-heartedly give it to God. Not just give it to Him and still have a hand on it..making sure that He IS taking care of it, but trusting that He already has, and is going to continue to. It’s also stepping out on faith that, “Okay Lord, this isn’t easy, but I’m going to anyway.” When You finally have peace, you’ve also learned patience, how to trust, how to step out on Faith, and that, the Lord really is good and knows all and really does mean what He says in Jeremiah 29:11 ( “I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.” -The Message- Version.) It’s something that doesn’t always happen overnight, but is a process, just like every thing else.
2. That “If you’re compromising your faith, then you’re compromising what you believe in..and if you don’t know what you believe in, then what are you going to stand for?”
3. That, you shouldn’t compromise your faith for anyTHING, or anyONE. If you feel like you have to, that is NOT what or who the Lord designed for you to have. The Lord does not speak in confusion or contradiction, so if you are confused…That is SATAN attacking you and trying to move you off the path you were designed to be upon in the first place.
4. That when you bottle things up, like emotions or things that are ON YOUR MIND…it makes you physically sick. For me, it really does. I begin to feel sick to my stomach, and you know..I actually do throw up. I throw up my thoughts..I “purge” myself. Most of the time not voluntarily. Most of the time, it’s the people who know me best that either make me so mad I just let it all out, or they continue to ask me till I just spill everything. Literally. I go onto a rampant, and talk 90 to nothin with barely taking any breaths and I feel better afterwards.


I think it’s time to take a stand for OUR MINDS. We hear about it for a our bodies, and we get preached about if for our souls..but it’s time we stomp the enemy and say enough is enough and take back our minds. Take back our thoughts.
Philippians 4:8-9 (The Message) ” 8 -9Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies. ”

No matter if you like it or not…how much you don’t want to do it, or don’t think you can…you must if the Lord is telling you too. For you will reap what you sow. If you sow into the things you know are right, you will begin to reap blessings; BUT, if you sow into the things you know AREN’T right, and you KNOW you shouldn’t be doing them/engaging in them/carrying on in them, then you will reap the consequences of those actions.

It all boils down to what you think upon and what you fill your mind with.

Like the saying goes:
“Garbage in, Garbage out.”

What will you fill your mind with?



Warning: Explicit Content

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 24, 2009 by Haylei

I was talking to one of my friends on Facebook this morning, and it was one really awesome, and in depth conversation. Please prepare yourself for what you are about to read, for it is blunt and straight forward and WILL stomp on your toes. Pray before you read.

He asked me how Smiles for Miles was coming, and I told him good…just ran into a road block or two, but in His time it will come to pass. With that he said this:
” Really Haylei, you don’t know how proud of you I am for taking this big step. It’s not even because you’re helping kids. It’s because you’re making a statement. The statement you’re making is Christianity isn’t just about not sinning and sitting on the pew every Sunday. It’s about taking action and really showing the love of Christ. I want to thank you for jumping out there and taking a risk like you have. That’s what following Christ is, it’s about taking risks. I think that the modern church has gotten comfortable with playing it safe and sitting inside the church. They forget that Jesus said if we follow him we are taking a major risk. Following Christ is dangerous business.”
He read me like a book. I told him that I am tired of people talking about change, and revival, and this and that…but just sitting back and not doing a thing about it. I have been created to stand out from the crowd, and I plan to do that whether people like it or don’t like it. I’m here to get a Word out, not to entertain or do what is pleasing to someone else’s eye.
He replied, “We so often think that to be a Christian we have to behave a certain way and just make it through our lives without sinning. We aren’t supposed to sin, but that’s only half of it. The next half is acting and like you said “standing out”. Just because you’re not doing anything wrong doesn’t mean you are doing anything right.”
Please re-read that last sentence.

Just because you’re not doing anything wrong…
DOESN’T mean you’re doing anything right.
I think that if we took a step back as not just one person, but as a body of Christ, we might just learn a thing or two. No, you may not being doing anything wrong…but it certainly doesn’t mean that doing NOTHING is okay either. hello?
I got my faith as well as some of my beliefs challenged quite a bit this past week. I honestly, thought it wasn’t possible for me to shake in my boots. I thought I was pretty darn sturdy for my age. I thought wrong, and boy was it a wake up call.
Let me make something clear to those reading, I do not like having denominations. Period. The end. Fin. All done.
Church of God isn’t better than Baptist, and Methodists aren’t any better than Catholics. We are ALL one body under Him, and He loves us regardless of how we Praise Him. WE split that up ourselves. My book cover may say Church of God and Pentecostal, but it doesn’t mean my pages say everything that that doctrine of theirs does. I may have been born and raised in Church of God, but that doesn’t mean I have the exact same views and outlooks as they do. Yes, I believe in a lot of things that they do, but it doesn’t mean that I think differently about everyone else. If you have seen my info on my Facebook, you’ll notice that my religious views state this: I love Jesus with all of my heart:)
Plain. And. Simple.
all make mistakes, mess up, and fall so why point the finger when you haven’t even looked in the mirror yet? And when you DO decide to look in that mirror, and see the person staring back at you…make sure that you can’t point your own finger there..before you go and claim “stone them” on someone else.
Did that get into anyone else’s spirit like it did mine?
Shake anyone up or step on anyone else’s toes?

He said something else that got to me too. He said:

“I have come to realization of so many things. Like what is possible? I used to think that I had to come to terms with what reality is. That like I said earlier, in order to be a good Christian I had to behave a certain way. I had to be a “good boy”. I had to get a good job, support a family, and then die with as little sins as possible. That was my “purpose” in life. But I have realized something else. Jesus was a criminal. He was put on trial for challenging the status quo. If we as the church are supposed to be like Christ, then why aren’t we challenging the status quo? We are viewed as judgmental because many sit back and simply speak out against what we’re against, when instead we should speak up for what we are for. I’m not saying we should accept things like homosexuality and etc. But we should be more focused on standing up for what Christ for. We should be more worried about our brothers and sisters who have been persecuted in other countries. We should be more focused on the millions who are trapped in sex trafficking. We should be more focused on revolutionizing what it means to be a follower of Christ. Followers of Christ should be known for what we stand for, what Christ stood for. Instead we are viewed as judgmental hypocrites.”

That made me think. If we are viewed as judgmental hypocrites, whose fault is that? It’s not the preachers, or the music ministers, the worship team, or the organ player. It’s yours. It’s mine. It’s the fact that we have a voice at a football game and a voice to gossip enough about other people or our “friends,” yet we have no voice to speak His truth, His Word, His blessings…His LIFE. What’s wrong with that picture. I’ll tell you…We have let the world mold this church. Is something wrong with that statement? We have let the WORLD mold us into what it wants us to be. We have allowed them to put tape over our mouths and undo it when they want us to speak. We lack the part where we take it off ourSELVES and take that step of faith and make a radical impact we speak so highly about among our “church friends.” Yes, I said “church friends.” I’m guilty of it too.

He went on in saying, “I want to see a day when Christians are revered for their willpower and determination to make a major impact in the world. Christians used to be seen as trouble makers in the early days. Peter, Paul, etc. were considered trouble makers because they challenged the status quo. They moved people out of their comfortable lives to reveal the truth. I want Christians to be seen as trouble makers again. Like you said, we have to step out in faith.”
He concluded in making this statement which we have all heard at one point or another: “
You can’t walk on water if you never step out of the boat.

I took that statement another step further and said this:
“But you can’t step out on the boat if you never take the boat on the water. Our boat may be wobbly and have some holes in it, but it doesn’t mean we will sink. It simply means we have to actually depend on the One who gave us the darn boat in the first place.”

“Sacrifice what is given to you and you will receive a greater blessing.”
When I sent him that message above in blue, I knew that was a word for someone else. But you wouldn’t have gotten it completely if I just put it as my status. Sometimes you have to endure some things before you get to where He wants you to be. When your place of seating has been taken away from you, the only way for you to go is on your knees. If your knees are bruised, it means you’ve been where He wants you to be. Stop letting the devil tell you that you have been won over all because you’re on your face. Being on your face means you’re seeking HIS face.

I don’t care if you’re 12, 22, or 62 reading this. It goes for everyone. You may not be old enough to get a job, but you’re old enough to be used for His Glory. You may be old enough to retire from your job, but you’re never too old to be used for the Kingdom of Heaven, right here on this earth.

I think that once we start becoming more concerned about what is going on OUTSIDE the church, rather than IN it…is when this country, and this world will begin to see revival. I’m not saying that there aren’t problems we need to take care of in the church, I’m saying we’re getting too caught up in it and making it bigger than what it really is.
We need step out on FAITH, not on “facts” or money, and begin to MAKE the change that we TALK about and want everyone else to do. We need to actually begin to get our hands dirty, instead of having our secretaries, and assistants do it for us. We’re big boys and girls…time to wear the right attire and do it.

I’m taking a step and making the change I want to see, regardless if you support me or not. All that matters is that I have my family behind me 150% and that I have God by my side guiding me where I’m needed…and where His people are hungry for something more than food and water…but the bread of Life and Living Water that is abundantly overflowing.

I posted my Facebook status on Tuesday stating this:
” I want to be poured into and be so overflowing that I pour into others around me. I don’t want to be able to contain my joy, love, vision or passion. I want to be an open vessel woking for His …Glory, and if you can’t handle that, get out of my way because I have my eyes on the greatest prize, and you have no authroity or ability to stop me. I’m HIS precious daughter and He loves me. Get on my level.”
That’s exactly what I want. My level, changes on almost a daily basis. It’s getting set higher with every step I take, mistake I do, and apology I say. If you don’t want to be poured into, fine. But don’t be the barrier on someone elses beaker because you’re too stubborn to have someone else help you. Don’t bring someone down with you to keep you company when you’re too scared to even look up. You’re loved regardless…but you’ll never know till you decide to look up…with your eyes open.

That is all.
Remember, Live Love, and Love Life.
Step out on Hebrews 11:1