Archive for Jesus

Garbage in, Garbage out.

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 18, 2011 by Haylei

So you know that thing you got in your head called a brain? a mind? Sometimes it becomes sick, and there’s a battle going on up there that you don’t always want to admit to, or focus on..but when you get right down to it, it’s hard to ignore because you begin to hear your inner most thoughts. No, that doesn’t make you makes you normal. Whether you want to believe it or not, your mind has a lot to do with your life. It affects the way you act, the way you see yourself and the struggles in life. It affects your view and perspective, and it can even affect your health. That’s right, your BODILY health. How, you ask? Because you begin to bottle things up, for various reasons. You don’t want to make someone mad, look down upon you, someone’s view on you change, think you’re bad-mouthing others, or simply because…it makes you seem like you’re whining since you have “problems.”
I’m one of those people. I choose to not talk sometimes, because I think it makes me sound like I’m whining, that I don’t have the “backbone” to deal with things by myself. Well, that’s a bunch of poop..because you’re not SUPPOSED to deal with it all by yourself! That’s why the Lord places certain people in your life, only IF for a season! And uh, hello! THE LORD IS STILL THERE! For He even says in Hebrews 13, Verses 5 and 6 (From: The Message)

5 -6Don’t be obsessed with getting more material things. Be relaxed with what you have. Since God assured us, “I’ll never let you down, never walk off and leave you,” we can boldly quote,

God is there, ready to help;
I’m fearless no matter what.
Who or what can get to me?”

He promises not to walk off and forget if YOU are not where YOU need to be with Him, then who do you honestly think moved?

Recently, I have gone through a really rough and heart wrenching break up. Not because it’s ugly and we were at each others throats…but because it was such a hard decision for ME to make. I spent countless hours praying about it, asking God to give me the confirmation I needed in order to make this decision easier for me to make…because I had given my heart away before HE was ready to give ME away. The God we serve as Christians, is a JEALOUS God. He wants ALL of us, not just bits and pieces of us. That means all of us, even in a relationship.
Read that again.
He wants ALL of us, even in a relationship.
I never really understood what all that meant when I heard it in sermons, and in my youth group. I just remember always hearing “Be evenly yoked.” I just thought that meant in marriage, and that it wouldn’t completely apply in a relationship. Well, I was wrong. I began to realize that I was “justifying” things that happened, or didn’t happen, in the relationship to make it work in my –mind–. To ease up my thoughts at night so that I may sleep and just get through another day, when, that’s not the Lord’s plan. He doesn’t want us to ‘Just get by.’ He wants us to have life abundantly! He wants us to have great Joy and to lie in His arms in His peace! So why do we continue to fight it!?
—>Because we are HUMAN. We are flesh, and have “needs” as people call them. Emotional, mental, physical needs that “have” to be met in order for the relationship to be all that the WORLD wants it to be. And that is a LIE FROM THE DEVIL!
I spent many nights, listening to worship music in order to make my mind calm down..calling out to my DaddyGod, asking Him to come and surround me so that I may sleep soundly. Asking Him to guide my steps where He wants them to be…and WANTED them to be in the first place, before I decided to do my own thang, and say “see ya” basically.

So what have I learned in the last month?

1. Peace is something that takes time. It’s something that, when you’re asking for it, you might as well be asking for patience. It’s something that doesn’t come easy, but once you have it, you see things in a whole new perspective. The key to peace? To really, whole-heartedly give it to God. Not just give it to Him and still have a hand on it..making sure that He IS taking care of it, but trusting that He already has, and is going to continue to. It’s also stepping out on faith that, “Okay Lord, this isn’t easy, but I’m going to anyway.” When You finally have peace, you’ve also learned patience, how to trust, how to step out on Faith, and that, the Lord really is good and knows all and really does mean what He says in Jeremiah 29:11 ( “I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.” -The Message- Version.) It’s something that doesn’t always happen overnight, but is a process, just like every thing else.
2. That “If you’re compromising your faith, then you’re compromising what you believe in..and if you don’t know what you believe in, then what are you going to stand for?”
3. That, you shouldn’t compromise your faith for anyTHING, or anyONE. If you feel like you have to, that is NOT what or who the Lord designed for you to have. The Lord does not speak in confusion or contradiction, so if you are confused…That is SATAN attacking you and trying to move you off the path you were designed to be upon in the first place.
4. That when you bottle things up, like emotions or things that are ON YOUR MIND…it makes you physically sick. For me, it really does. I begin to feel sick to my stomach, and you know..I actually do throw up. I throw up my thoughts..I “purge” myself. Most of the time not voluntarily. Most of the time, it’s the people who know me best that either make me so mad I just let it all out, or they continue to ask me till I just spill everything. Literally. I go onto a rampant, and talk 90 to nothin with barely taking any breaths and I feel better afterwards.


I think it’s time to take a stand for OUR MINDS. We hear about it for a our bodies, and we get preached about if for our souls..but it’s time we stomp the enemy and say enough is enough and take back our minds. Take back our thoughts.
Philippians 4:8-9 (The Message) ” 8 -9Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies. ”

No matter if you like it or not…how much you don’t want to do it, or don’t think you can…you must if the Lord is telling you too. For you will reap what you sow. If you sow into the things you know are right, you will begin to reap blessings; BUT, if you sow into the things you know AREN’T right, and you KNOW you shouldn’t be doing them/engaging in them/carrying on in them, then you will reap the consequences of those actions.

It all boils down to what you think upon and what you fill your mind with.

Like the saying goes:
“Garbage in, Garbage out.”

What will you fill your mind with?



Hide and Speak?

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 31, 2010 by Haylei

So, I apologize for not writing in a while. It’s been a bit of a whirlwind the past few months. But! The Lord is faithful, good, and took care of me just in time!

I have something that has been laid on my heart, and once again, it’s going to step on a couple of toes.

Yes, I said the word. Relationships are hard..and it’s something that you have to work at daily..but recently, I’ve had a bit of a change of view on the outlook I hold on them. I’ve been in this spot a couple of times, but just moments before I began to write this, it just kinda hit me in the face and I was like…”dang..that kinda sucks worse when you think about it like that.”
I’ve been put in this position, where I’m missed..but the guy that’s telling me that, is taken. I know, shame on him right? No. He’s entitled to his own feelings..and it’s good he’s being honest with it. I’m not one to judge or anything, and you shouldn’t either. He’s entitled to have feelings, but like I said, I’m glad that he’s honest about it and not hiding
Today I told him basically that if you can’t hang out with me in broad daylight without your girlfriend getting upset, why would hanging out “secretively” be any different?
For those of you out there thinking, “Well haylei, what she don’t know won’t hurt her.”


I mean isn’t that kinda what we do to our Father? Daddy God (as I call Him)? I mean..we are sooo deathly scared of hangin out with him in public, yet we are okay with it when the door is shut and certain people aren’t around.
Why should you be ashamed of Him outside of the door and not in? If you’re going to praise Him, praise Him at ALL times. Same goes for the opposite, if you’re going to shun and ignore Him outside and around your “friends” and in  broad daylight..then you should do the same thing inside too.
We’ve all heard the saying, “you can’t have your cake and eat it too.” My saying? “You can’t have your cake AND ice cream.” Yes, they are good together, but you can’t have the best of both worlds. Period. You can’t straddle the fence or cross the line when things get have to, at some point, make a decision and pick a side.

You’ve gotta let this sink in.
Why be in a pointless relationship, right? That goes the same for Daddy God. Why would you be in an earthly relationship that you can’t talk to your significant other about your other relationship with Jesus, huh? Dude, come on now. Get real. You know that’s just dumb. Quit ignoring Him and puttin’ Him in a box! You can’t just take Him out and tell Him what you need and then put Him back in…it’s called COMMUNICATION! Meaning, you have to listen not just as much, but TWICE as much as you talk. And trust me, that is a struuuggglle for me. 😛 I love to talk..I can talk to God for hours and then just fall asleep on Him, and yes, He’s always going to love me, but He’s a jealous God. He doesn’t just want part of us or little bits and pieces of us…He wants us all. He is so madly in love with us that He gave His son for us. Some of you out there, know what it’s like to lose your only child..I can only imagine. But imagine trying to WILLINGLY give  your son or daughter up…so that others may live. So that OTHER parents can have their sons and daughters.
Could you do that?
I don’t know if I could or not honestly. That would be hard. And you gotta think of what Jesus’ mother experienced. WATCHING her Son die. Being beaten, battered and bruised…hung on a cross…just struggling to breathe. Watching Him take His last breath..again I ask, could you do that?

Last week at Oneless, the Lord spoke and said the following:
“How desperate, is desperate? How lost, is lost?
How desperate do you have to be to call for help? How completely and utterly lost do you have to be to finally ask for directions?
All you have to do is call My Name, and I will be there. No matter how faint the whisper, or loud the yell, I will swoop you up in My arms and save you. ”

Psalm 138:3
“The moment I called out, You stepped in; You made my life large with strength.”

I don’t think I need a question or a profound statement to end..I think it all speaks for itself.
Just let it…


Mirror Mirror On the Wall

Posted in Poetry - God, Visions:) with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 12, 2010 by Haylei

The tape you place upon my mouth, symbols the voice in which i have, but do not use.
I have the freedom of my hands to take it off, yet i don’t and let be what happens, instead of changing it to what i know in my heart it should be.
I hear the cry of the others voices and yet you silence mine.

You whisper in my ear, that the image that i see before me, is demented and appauling..
but deep down i know one day, they’ll all be applauding.
these thoughts you whisper, feels like you’re yelling them aloud..
that everyone can hear..this distinctive sound.
don’t tell me i’m wrong when i know i’m right..
not unless you’re willing for this fight.
my mouth might be taped, my voice might be silenced..
but my hands are free, and you won’t like it.
toss and turn as i hear the punches..
listen to the sound as each bone crunches.
i hear a loud shatter and straight up i sit,
my eyes now wide open and my lip, bit.
this fight i saw you’d think were between two..
when really it was just you..and you.
this thing called a mirror shows your reflection..
it racks up so much of your attention.
make yourself pretty, presentable and fake..
with no one knowing, its your life you want to take.
this mirror defines us, instead of the tables being turned,
and not one thing they’ve taught us have we learned.
the magazines tell us what we should be,
places the tape across our mouths only left to see
the monster we’ve become and allowed it to happen..
because it’s our stomachs that we all want flattened.
no matter if your a girl looking for that guy..
no matter if you’re that boy tryin to look fly.
the fact of the matter still stands,
what will you continue to do with your hands?

I’ve been having this dream about mirrors..and I feel it’s time to step on up and begin talking about it.

Knives are for cooking, baking, and kitchen work…not for your arms, legs or back.
Bathrooms are for hygine and “primping”…not to throw up your meals, and nutrition.
Mirrors are to make sure that nothing is in your teeth…not to define who you are.

Your body, is YOURS. Not someone elses to tell you what to do with, how to perfect it, or how to make it better…or for that matter…how to make more doggone appealing.
The way I see it, the one that will love you forever, will realize that there’s more to you than your appearance. They’ll care about your personality and your character, not your jean size or the number on the scale. Think about it, is your appearance really going to matter when you’re old, with wrinkles and that gray hair? NO! You stay with someone because you love being around them..not their looks.

Your thoughts, are YOURS. Not for someone else to try and tear down. It’s what makes us unique and sets us apart from all the rest. You must have the will power to overcome the negative and fine that positive, no matter how gosh darn small it is. If you find that positive in the negative, you will begin to see a change in your attitude towards your circumstances, and just life in general. I don’t care how much of a relief it is the see the blood on the knife, or to feel it pierce your skin…the fact of the matter is, a certain Someone pierced Their skin a long time ago…He actually got beaten and nailed to a cross for YOU. YOU. Hello? that means you don’t have to shed any more blood, or bare the scars of a heartache you once had. It means He has taken them away and you are free to lift up Holy hands and give thanks for the life He has given you, and for the destiny He is taking you towrds.

Your life, is NOT YOURS.
re-read that if it didn’t hit you hard enough.
YOUR LIFE ISN’T YOURS. The breaths you take are graciously given to you for a purpose greater than you could ever see, dream, or comprehend. You are MADE to stand out from the crowd, not to conform to society, and you have been set in the place you are in, in the state and town you are in for a REASON. HE gave you life, so that you may carry out the a greater Life..the one the a Man named Jesus gave in order for you to have one.

You are His daughter, His princess. The apple of His eye. He has for you a palace of your very own waiting for you in the greatest kingdom and neighborhood that any one woman could ever fathom live in. You have been hand made into a beautiful creation beyond belief. The mirror may whisper in your ear a mouthful of lies dripping with disaster, but you have the power to take off the tape and define who YOU are..who HE has created you to be. He wants you to see through His eyes how amazingly beautiful you are. He doesn’t care about how tiny your body is, or if you have long or short hair…and in return, the man of your dreams will have the same outlook as well.

You are His son, His prince. The champ beyond all He has known. He has for you a palace of your very own waiting for you in the greatest kingdom and neighborhood that any one man could ever fathom to live in. You have been hand mand into a handsome creation beyond beilief. The mirror may whisper in your ear a mouthful of lies dripping with disatster, but you have the power to take off the tape and define who YOU are..who HE has created you to be. He wants you to see through His eyes, how amazingly handsome you are. He doesn’t care about how muscular you body is, or if you have a six pack…and in return, the woman of your dreams will have the same outlook as well.

Sons and daughters alike, the knife may feel like a sense of relief to you in your time of need and trouble, but the grace of God and healing power of your Heavenly Father is a breath of fresh air. His arms are the sense of relief that you long for…for the love you lack in your personal and parental life.

Sons and daughters alike, the purging may feel like a hell hole that cannot be climbed out of, but the Love of Jesus can pull you out. His hand can pick you up and turn you around in the right direction. The question is, will you stay there or turn around and go back to your comfort hole…clinging on to that bowl that brings you nothing but straight agony..?

Who will you be defined as?
sons and daughters of man…
or Sons and Daughters of the Most High?

If you know of someone that’s hurting themselves, feel free to DM tweet me @CraziKiddLoMo
And you can find me on Facebook and Myspace – Haylei Cummings
If you want my e-mail, comment this post.
You ARE loved.
Remember, Live Love and Love Life.


Warning: Explicit Content

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 24, 2009 by Haylei

I was talking to one of my friends on Facebook this morning, and it was one really awesome, and in depth conversation. Please prepare yourself for what you are about to read, for it is blunt and straight forward and WILL stomp on your toes. Pray before you read.

He asked me how Smiles for Miles was coming, and I told him good…just ran into a road block or two, but in His time it will come to pass. With that he said this:
” Really Haylei, you don’t know how proud of you I am for taking this big step. It’s not even because you’re helping kids. It’s because you’re making a statement. The statement you’re making is Christianity isn’t just about not sinning and sitting on the pew every Sunday. It’s about taking action and really showing the love of Christ. I want to thank you for jumping out there and taking a risk like you have. That’s what following Christ is, it’s about taking risks. I think that the modern church has gotten comfortable with playing it safe and sitting inside the church. They forget that Jesus said if we follow him we are taking a major risk. Following Christ is dangerous business.”
He read me like a book. I told him that I am tired of people talking about change, and revival, and this and that…but just sitting back and not doing a thing about it. I have been created to stand out from the crowd, and I plan to do that whether people like it or don’t like it. I’m here to get a Word out, not to entertain or do what is pleasing to someone else’s eye.
He replied, “We so often think that to be a Christian we have to behave a certain way and just make it through our lives without sinning. We aren’t supposed to sin, but that’s only half of it. The next half is acting and like you said “standing out”. Just because you’re not doing anything wrong doesn’t mean you are doing anything right.”
Please re-read that last sentence.

Just because you’re not doing anything wrong…
DOESN’T mean you’re doing anything right.
I think that if we took a step back as not just one person, but as a body of Christ, we might just learn a thing or two. No, you may not being doing anything wrong…but it certainly doesn’t mean that doing NOTHING is okay either. hello?
I got my faith as well as some of my beliefs challenged quite a bit this past week. I honestly, thought it wasn’t possible for me to shake in my boots. I thought I was pretty darn sturdy for my age. I thought wrong, and boy was it a wake up call.
Let me make something clear to those reading, I do not like having denominations. Period. The end. Fin. All done.
Church of God isn’t better than Baptist, and Methodists aren’t any better than Catholics. We are ALL one body under Him, and He loves us regardless of how we Praise Him. WE split that up ourselves. My book cover may say Church of God and Pentecostal, but it doesn’t mean my pages say everything that that doctrine of theirs does. I may have been born and raised in Church of God, but that doesn’t mean I have the exact same views and outlooks as they do. Yes, I believe in a lot of things that they do, but it doesn’t mean that I think differently about everyone else. If you have seen my info on my Facebook, you’ll notice that my religious views state this: I love Jesus with all of my heart:)
Plain. And. Simple.
all make mistakes, mess up, and fall so why point the finger when you haven’t even looked in the mirror yet? And when you DO decide to look in that mirror, and see the person staring back at you…make sure that you can’t point your own finger there..before you go and claim “stone them” on someone else.
Did that get into anyone else’s spirit like it did mine?
Shake anyone up or step on anyone else’s toes?

He said something else that got to me too. He said:

“I have come to realization of so many things. Like what is possible? I used to think that I had to come to terms with what reality is. That like I said earlier, in order to be a good Christian I had to behave a certain way. I had to be a “good boy”. I had to get a good job, support a family, and then die with as little sins as possible. That was my “purpose” in life. But I have realized something else. Jesus was a criminal. He was put on trial for challenging the status quo. If we as the church are supposed to be like Christ, then why aren’t we challenging the status quo? We are viewed as judgmental because many sit back and simply speak out against what we’re against, when instead we should speak up for what we are for. I’m not saying we should accept things like homosexuality and etc. But we should be more focused on standing up for what Christ for. We should be more worried about our brothers and sisters who have been persecuted in other countries. We should be more focused on the millions who are trapped in sex trafficking. We should be more focused on revolutionizing what it means to be a follower of Christ. Followers of Christ should be known for what we stand for, what Christ stood for. Instead we are viewed as judgmental hypocrites.”

That made me think. If we are viewed as judgmental hypocrites, whose fault is that? It’s not the preachers, or the music ministers, the worship team, or the organ player. It’s yours. It’s mine. It’s the fact that we have a voice at a football game and a voice to gossip enough about other people or our “friends,” yet we have no voice to speak His truth, His Word, His blessings…His LIFE. What’s wrong with that picture. I’ll tell you…We have let the world mold this church. Is something wrong with that statement? We have let the WORLD mold us into what it wants us to be. We have allowed them to put tape over our mouths and undo it when they want us to speak. We lack the part where we take it off ourSELVES and take that step of faith and make a radical impact we speak so highly about among our “church friends.” Yes, I said “church friends.” I’m guilty of it too.

He went on in saying, “I want to see a day when Christians are revered for their willpower and determination to make a major impact in the world. Christians used to be seen as trouble makers in the early days. Peter, Paul, etc. were considered trouble makers because they challenged the status quo. They moved people out of their comfortable lives to reveal the truth. I want Christians to be seen as trouble makers again. Like you said, we have to step out in faith.”
He concluded in making this statement which we have all heard at one point or another: “
You can’t walk on water if you never step out of the boat.

I took that statement another step further and said this:
“But you can’t step out on the boat if you never take the boat on the water. Our boat may be wobbly and have some holes in it, but it doesn’t mean we will sink. It simply means we have to actually depend on the One who gave us the darn boat in the first place.”

“Sacrifice what is given to you and you will receive a greater blessing.”
When I sent him that message above in blue, I knew that was a word for someone else. But you wouldn’t have gotten it completely if I just put it as my status. Sometimes you have to endure some things before you get to where He wants you to be. When your place of seating has been taken away from you, the only way for you to go is on your knees. If your knees are bruised, it means you’ve been where He wants you to be. Stop letting the devil tell you that you have been won over all because you’re on your face. Being on your face means you’re seeking HIS face.

I don’t care if you’re 12, 22, or 62 reading this. It goes for everyone. You may not be old enough to get a job, but you’re old enough to be used for His Glory. You may be old enough to retire from your job, but you’re never too old to be used for the Kingdom of Heaven, right here on this earth.

I think that once we start becoming more concerned about what is going on OUTSIDE the church, rather than IN it…is when this country, and this world will begin to see revival. I’m not saying that there aren’t problems we need to take care of in the church, I’m saying we’re getting too caught up in it and making it bigger than what it really is.
We need step out on FAITH, not on “facts” or money, and begin to MAKE the change that we TALK about and want everyone else to do. We need to actually begin to get our hands dirty, instead of having our secretaries, and assistants do it for us. We’re big boys and girls…time to wear the right attire and do it.

I’m taking a step and making the change I want to see, regardless if you support me or not. All that matters is that I have my family behind me 150% and that I have God by my side guiding me where I’m needed…and where His people are hungry for something more than food and water…but the bread of Life and Living Water that is abundantly overflowing.

I posted my Facebook status on Tuesday stating this:
” I want to be poured into and be so overflowing that I pour into others around me. I don’t want to be able to contain my joy, love, vision or passion. I want to be an open vessel woking for His …Glory, and if you can’t handle that, get out of my way because I have my eyes on the greatest prize, and you have no authroity or ability to stop me. I’m HIS precious daughter and He loves me. Get on my level.”
That’s exactly what I want. My level, changes on almost a daily basis. It’s getting set higher with every step I take, mistake I do, and apology I say. If you don’t want to be poured into, fine. But don’t be the barrier on someone elses beaker because you’re too stubborn to have someone else help you. Don’t bring someone down with you to keep you company when you’re too scared to even look up. You’re loved regardless…but you’ll never know till you decide to look up…with your eyes open.

That is all.
Remember, Live Love, and Love Life.
Step out on Hebrews 11:1