Archive for Lord

Garbage in, Garbage out.

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 18, 2011 by Haylei

So you know that thing you got in your head called a brain? a mind? Sometimes it becomes sick, and there’s a battle going on up there that you don’t always want to admit to, or focus on..but when you get right down to it, it’s hard to ignore because you begin to hear your inner most thoughts. No, that doesn’t make you phys-co..it makes you normal. Whether you want to believe it or not, your mind has a lot to do with your life. It affects the way you act, the way you see yourself and the struggles in life. It affects your view and perspective, and it can even affect your health. That’s right, your BODILY health. How, you ask? Because you begin to bottle things up, for various reasons. You don’t want to make someone mad, look down upon you, someone’s view on you change, think you’re bad-mouthing others, or simply because…it makes you seem like you’re whining since you have “problems.”
I’m one of those people. I choose to not talk sometimes, because I think it makes me sound like I’m whining, that I don’t have the “backbone” to deal with things by myself. Well, that’s a bunch of poop..because you’re not SUPPOSED to deal with it all by yourself! That’s why the Lord places certain people in your life, only IF for a season! And uh, hello! THE LORD IS STILL THERE! For He even says in Hebrews 13, Verses 5 and 6 (From: The Message)

5 -6Don’t be obsessed with getting more material things. Be relaxed with what you have. Since God assured us, “I’ll never let you down, never walk off and leave you,” we can boldly quote,

God is there, ready to help;
I’m fearless no matter what.
Who or what can get to me?”

He promises not to walk off and forget you..so if YOU are not where YOU need to be with Him, then who do you honestly think moved?

Recently, I have gone through a really rough and heart wrenching break up. Not because it’s ugly and we were at each others throats…but because it was such a hard decision for ME to make. I spent countless hours praying about it, asking God to give me the confirmation I needed in order to make this decision easier for me to make…because I had given my heart away before HE was ready to give ME away. The God we serve as Christians, is a JEALOUS God. He wants ALL of us, not just bits and pieces of us. That means all of us, even in a relationship.
Read that again.
He wants ALL of us, even in a relationship.
I never really understood what all that meant when I heard it in sermons, and in my youth group. I just remember always hearing “Be evenly yoked.” I just thought that meant in marriage, and that it wouldn’t completely apply in a relationship. Well, I was wrong. I began to realize that I was “justifying” things that happened, or didn’t happen, in the relationship to make it work in my –mind–. To ease up my thoughts at night so that I may sleep and just get through another day, when, that’s not the Lord’s plan. He doesn’t want us to ‘Just get by.’ He wants us to have life abundantly! He wants us to have great Joy and to lie in His arms in His peace! So why do we continue to fight it!?
—>Because we are HUMAN. We are flesh, and have “needs” as people call them. Emotional, mental, physical needs that “have” to be met in order for the relationship to be all that the WORLD wants it to be. And that is a LIE FROM THE DEVIL!
I spent many nights, listening to worship music in order to make my mind calm down..calling out to my DaddyGod, asking Him to come and surround me so that I may sleep soundly. Asking Him to guide my steps where He wants them to be…and WANTED them to be in the first place, before I decided to do my own thang, and say “see ya” basically.

So what have I learned in the last month?

1. Peace is something that takes time. It’s something that, when you’re asking for it, you might as well be asking for patience. It’s something that doesn’t come easy, but once you have it, you see things in a whole new perspective. The key to peace? To really, whole-heartedly give it to God. Not just give it to Him and still have a hand on it..making sure that He IS taking care of it, but trusting that He already has, and is going to continue to. It’s also stepping out on faith that, “Okay Lord, this isn’t easy, but I’m going to anyway.” When You finally have peace, you’ve also learned patience, how to trust, how to step out on Faith, and that, the Lord really is good and knows all and really does mean what He says in Jeremiah 29:11 ( “I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.” -The Message- Version.) It’s something that doesn’t always happen overnight, but is a process, just like every thing else.
2. That “If you’re compromising your faith, then you’re compromising what you believe in..and if you don’t know what you believe in, then what are you going to stand for?”
3. That, you shouldn’t compromise your faith for anyTHING, or anyONE. If you feel like you have to, that is NOT what or who the Lord designed for you to have. The Lord does not speak in confusion or contradiction, so if you are confused…That is SATAN attacking you and trying to move you off the path you were designed to be upon in the first place.
4. That when you bottle things up, like emotions or things that are ON YOUR MIND…it makes you physically sick. For me, it really does. I begin to feel sick to my stomach, and you know..I actually do throw up. I throw up my thoughts..I “purge” myself. Most of the time not voluntarily. Most of the time, it’s the people who know me best that either make me so mad I just let it all out, or they continue to ask me till I just spill everything. Literally. I go onto a rampant, and talk 90 to nothin with barely taking any breaths and I feel better afterwards.

 

I think it’s time to take a stand for OUR MINDS. We hear about it for a our bodies, and we get preached about if for our souls..but it’s time we stomp the enemy and say enough is enough and take back our minds. Take back our thoughts.
Philippians 4:8-9 (The Message) ” 8 -9Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies. ”

No matter if you like it or not…how much you don’t want to do it, or don’t think you can…you must if the Lord is telling you too. For you will reap what you sow. If you sow into the things you know are right, you will begin to reap blessings; BUT, if you sow into the things you know AREN’T right, and you KNOW you shouldn’t be doing them/engaging in them/carrying on in them, then you will reap the consequences of those actions.

It all boils down to what you think upon and what you fill your mind with.

Like the saying goes:
“Garbage in, Garbage out.”

What will you fill your mind with?

-h

Mirror Mirror On the Wall

Posted in Poetry - God, Visions:) with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 12, 2010 by Haylei

The tape you place upon my mouth, symbols the voice in which i have, but do not use.
I have the freedom of my hands to take it off, yet i don’t and let be what happens, instead of changing it to what i know in my heart it should be.
I hear the cry of the others voices and yet you silence mine.

You whisper in my ear, that the image that i see before me, is demented and appauling..
but deep down i know one day, they’ll all be applauding.
these thoughts you whisper, feels like you’re yelling them aloud..
that everyone can hear..this distinctive sound.
don’t tell me i’m wrong when i know i’m right..
not unless you’re willing for this fight.
my mouth might be taped, my voice might be silenced..
but my hands are free, and you won’t like it.
toss and turn as i hear the punches..
listen to the sound as each bone crunches.
i hear a loud shatter and straight up i sit,
my eyes now wide open and my lip, bit.
this fight i saw you’d think were between two..
when really it was just you..and you.
this thing called a mirror shows your reflection..
it racks up so much of your attention.
make yourself pretty, presentable and fake..
with no one knowing, its your life you want to take.
this mirror defines us, instead of the tables being turned,
and not one thing they’ve taught us have we learned.
the magazines tell us what we should be,
places the tape across our mouths only left to see
the monster we’ve become and allowed it to happen..
because it’s our stomachs that we all want flattened.
no matter if your a girl looking for that guy..
no matter if you’re that boy tryin to look fly.
the fact of the matter still stands,
what will you continue to do with your hands?

I’ve been having this dream about mirrors..and I feel it’s time to step on up and begin talking about it.

Knives are for cooking, baking, and kitchen work…not for your arms, legs or back.
Bathrooms are for hygine and “primping”…not to throw up your meals, and nutrition.
Mirrors are to make sure that nothing is in your teeth…not to define who you are.

Your body, is YOURS. Not someone elses to tell you what to do with, how to perfect it, or how to make it better…or for that matter…how to make more doggone appealing.
The way I see it, the one that will love you forever, will realize that there’s more to you than your appearance. They’ll care about your personality and your character, not your jean size or the number on the scale. Think about it, is your appearance really going to matter when you’re old, with wrinkles and that gray hair? NO! You stay with someone because you love being around them..not their looks.

Your thoughts, are YOURS. Not for someone else to try and tear down. It’s what makes us unique and sets us apart from all the rest. You must have the will power to overcome the negative and fine that positive, no matter how gosh darn small it is. If you find that positive in the negative, you will begin to see a change in your attitude towards your circumstances, and just life in general. I don’t care how much of a relief it is the see the blood on the knife, or to feel it pierce your skin…the fact of the matter is, a certain Someone pierced Their skin a long time ago…He actually got beaten and nailed to a cross for YOU. YOU. Hello? that means you don’t have to shed any more blood, or bare the scars of a heartache you once had. It means He has taken them away and you are free to lift up Holy hands and give thanks for the life He has given you, and for the destiny He is taking you towrds.

Your life, is NOT YOURS.
re-read that if it didn’t hit you hard enough.
YOUR LIFE ISN’T YOURS. The breaths you take are graciously given to you for a purpose greater than you could ever see, dream, or comprehend. You are MADE to stand out from the crowd, not to conform to society, and you have been set in the place you are in, in the state and town you are in for a REASON. HE gave you life, so that you may carry out the a greater Life..the one the a Man named Jesus gave in order for you to have one.

You are His daughter, His princess. The apple of His eye. He has for you a palace of your very own waiting for you in the greatest kingdom and neighborhood that any one woman could ever fathom live in. You have been hand made into a beautiful creation beyond belief. The mirror may whisper in your ear a mouthful of lies dripping with disaster, but you have the power to take off the tape and define who YOU are..who HE has created you to be. He wants you to see through His eyes how amazingly beautiful you are. He doesn’t care about how tiny your body is, or if you have long or short hair…and in return, the man of your dreams will have the same outlook as well.

You are His son, His prince. The champ beyond all He has known. He has for you a palace of your very own waiting for you in the greatest kingdom and neighborhood that any one man could ever fathom to live in. You have been hand mand into a handsome creation beyond beilief. The mirror may whisper in your ear a mouthful of lies dripping with disatster, but you have the power to take off the tape and define who YOU are..who HE has created you to be. He wants you to see through His eyes, how amazingly handsome you are. He doesn’t care about how muscular you body is, or if you have a six pack…and in return, the woman of your dreams will have the same outlook as well.

Sons and daughters alike, the knife may feel like a sense of relief to you in your time of need and trouble, but the grace of God and healing power of your Heavenly Father is a breath of fresh air. His arms are the sense of relief that you long for…for the love you lack in your personal and parental life.

Sons and daughters alike, the purging may feel like a hell hole that cannot be climbed out of, but the Love of Jesus can pull you out. His hand can pick you up and turn you around in the right direction. The question is, will you stay there or turn around and go back to your comfort hole…clinging on to that bowl that brings you nothing but straight agony..?

Who will you be defined as?
sons and daughters of man…
or Sons and Daughters of the Most High?

If you know of someone that’s hurting themselves, feel free to DM tweet me @CraziKiddLoMo
And you can find me on Facebook and Myspace – Haylei Cummings
If you want my e-mail, comment this post.
You ARE loved.
Remember, Live Love and Love Life.

-h