Archive for peace

Garbage in, Garbage out.

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 18, 2011 by Haylei

So you know that thing you got in your head called a brain? a mind? Sometimes it becomes sick, and there’s a battle going on up there that you don’t always want to admit to, or focus on..but when you get right down to it, it’s hard to ignore because you begin to hear your inner most thoughts. No, that doesn’t make you phys-co..it makes you normal. Whether you want to believe it or not, your mind has a lot to do with your life. It affects the way you act, the way you see yourself and the struggles in life. It affects your view and perspective, and it can even affect your health. That’s right, your BODILY health. How, you ask? Because you begin to bottle things up, for various reasons. You don’t want to make someone mad, look down upon you, someone’s view on you change, think you’re bad-mouthing others, or simply because…it makes you seem like you’re whining since you have “problems.”
I’m one of those people. I choose to not talk sometimes, because I think it makes me sound like I’m whining, that I don’t have the “backbone” to deal with things by myself. Well, that’s a bunch of poop..because you’re not SUPPOSED to deal with it all by yourself! That’s why the Lord places certain people in your life, only IF for a season! And uh, hello! THE LORD IS STILL THERE! For He even says in Hebrews 13, Verses 5 and 6 (From: The Message)

5 -6Don’t be obsessed with getting more material things. Be relaxed with what you have. Since God assured us, “I’ll never let you down, never walk off and leave you,” we can boldly quote,

God is there, ready to help;
I’m fearless no matter what.
Who or what can get to me?”

He promises not to walk off and forget you..so if YOU are not where YOU need to be with Him, then who do you honestly think moved?

Recently, I have gone through a really rough and heart wrenching break up. Not because it’s ugly and we were at each others throats…but because it was such a hard decision for ME to make. I spent countless hours praying about it, asking God to give me the confirmation I needed in order to make this decision easier for me to make…because I had given my heart away before HE was ready to give ME away. The God we serve as Christians, is a JEALOUS God. He wants ALL of us, not just bits and pieces of us. That means all of us, even in a relationship.
Read that again.
He wants ALL of us, even in a relationship.
I never really understood what all that meant when I heard it in sermons, and in my youth group. I just remember always hearing “Be evenly yoked.” I just thought that meant in marriage, and that it wouldn’t completely apply in a relationship. Well, I was wrong. I began to realize that I was “justifying” things that happened, or didn’t happen, in the relationship to make it work in my –mind–. To ease up my thoughts at night so that I may sleep and just get through another day, when, that’s not the Lord’s plan. He doesn’t want us to ‘Just get by.’ He wants us to have life abundantly! He wants us to have great Joy and to lie in His arms in His peace! So why do we continue to fight it!?
—>Because we are HUMAN. We are flesh, and have “needs” as people call them. Emotional, mental, physical needs that “have” to be met in order for the relationship to be all that the WORLD wants it to be. And that is a LIE FROM THE DEVIL!
I spent many nights, listening to worship music in order to make my mind calm down..calling out to my DaddyGod, asking Him to come and surround me so that I may sleep soundly. Asking Him to guide my steps where He wants them to be…and WANTED them to be in the first place, before I decided to do my own thang, and say “see ya” basically.

So what have I learned in the last month?

1. Peace is something that takes time. It’s something that, when you’re asking for it, you might as well be asking for patience. It’s something that doesn’t come easy, but once you have it, you see things in a whole new perspective. The key to peace? To really, whole-heartedly give it to God. Not just give it to Him and still have a hand on it..making sure that He IS taking care of it, but trusting that He already has, and is going to continue to. It’s also stepping out on faith that, “Okay Lord, this isn’t easy, but I’m going to anyway.” When You finally have peace, you’ve also learned patience, how to trust, how to step out on Faith, and that, the Lord really is good and knows all and really does mean what He says in Jeremiah 29:11 ( “I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.” -The Message- Version.) It’s something that doesn’t always happen overnight, but is a process, just like every thing else.
2. That “If you’re compromising your faith, then you’re compromising what you believe in..and if you don’t know what you believe in, then what are you going to stand for?”
3. That, you shouldn’t compromise your faith for anyTHING, or anyONE. If you feel like you have to, that is NOT what or who the Lord designed for you to have. The Lord does not speak in confusion or contradiction, so if you are confused…That is SATAN attacking you and trying to move you off the path you were designed to be upon in the first place.
4. That when you bottle things up, like emotions or things that are ON YOUR MIND…it makes you physically sick. For me, it really does. I begin to feel sick to my stomach, and you know..I actually do throw up. I throw up my thoughts..I “purge” myself. Most of the time not voluntarily. Most of the time, it’s the people who know me best that either make me so mad I just let it all out, or they continue to ask me till I just spill everything. Literally. I go onto a rampant, and talk 90 to nothin with barely taking any breaths and I feel better afterwards.

 

I think it’s time to take a stand for OUR MINDS. We hear about it for a our bodies, and we get preached about if for our souls..but it’s time we stomp the enemy and say enough is enough and take back our minds. Take back our thoughts.
Philippians 4:8-9 (The Message) ” 8 -9Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies. ”

No matter if you like it or not…how much you don’t want to do it, or don’t think you can…you must if the Lord is telling you too. For you will reap what you sow. If you sow into the things you know are right, you will begin to reap blessings; BUT, if you sow into the things you know AREN’T right, and you KNOW you shouldn’t be doing them/engaging in them/carrying on in them, then you will reap the consequences of those actions.

It all boils down to what you think upon and what you fill your mind with.

Like the saying goes:
“Garbage in, Garbage out.”

What will you fill your mind with?

-h

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Hide and Speak?

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 31, 2010 by Haylei

So, I apologize for not writing in a while. It’s been a bit of a whirlwind the past few months. But! The Lord is faithful, good, and took care of me just in time!

I have something that has been laid on my heart, and once again, it’s going to step on a couple of toes.

Relationships.
Yes, I said the word. Relationships are hard..and it’s something that you have to work at daily..but recently, I’ve had a bit of a change of view on the outlook I hold on them. I’ve been in this spot a couple of times, but just moments before I began to write this, it just kinda hit me in the face and I was like…”dang..that kinda sucks worse when you think about it like that.”
I’ve been put in this position, where I’m missed..but the guy that’s telling me that, is taken. I know, shame on him right? No. He’s entitled to his own feelings..and it’s good he’s being honest with it. I’m not one to judge or anything, and you shouldn’t either. He’s entitled to have feelings, but like I said, I’m glad that he’s honest about it and not hiding
Today I told him basically that if you can’t hang out with me in broad daylight without your girlfriend getting upset, why would hanging out “secretively” be any different?
For those of you out there thinking, “Well haylei, what she don’t know won’t hurt her.”

Wrong.

I mean isn’t that kinda what we do to our Father? Daddy God (as I call Him)? I mean..we are sooo deathly scared of hangin out with him in public, yet we are okay with it when the door is shut and certain people aren’t around.
Why should you be ashamed of Him outside of the door and not in? If you’re going to praise Him, praise Him at ALL times. Same goes for the opposite, if you’re going to shun and ignore Him outside and around your “friends” and in  broad daylight..then you should do the same thing inside too.
We’ve all heard the saying, “you can’t have your cake and eat it too.” My saying? “You can’t have your cake AND ice cream.” Yes, they are good together, but you can’t have the best of both worlds. Period. You can’t straddle the fence or cross the line when things get tough..you have to, at some point, make a decision and pick a side.

You’ve gotta let this sink in.
Why be in a pointless relationship, right? That goes the same for Daddy God. Why would you be in an earthly relationship that you can’t talk to your significant other about your other relationship with Jesus, huh? Dude, come on now. Get real. You know that’s just dumb. Quit ignoring Him and puttin’ Him in a box! You can’t just take Him out and tell Him what you need and then put Him back in…it’s called COMMUNICATION! Meaning, you have to listen not just as much, but TWICE as much as you talk. And trust me, that is a struuuggglle for me. 😛 I love to talk..I can talk to God for hours and then just fall asleep on Him, and yes, He’s always going to love me, but He’s a jealous God. He doesn’t just want part of us or little bits and pieces of us…He wants us all. He is so madly in love with us that He gave His son for us. Some of you out there, know what it’s like to lose your only child..I can only imagine. But imagine trying to WILLINGLY give  your son or daughter up…so that others may live. So that OTHER parents can have their sons and daughters.
Could you do that?
I don’t know if I could or not honestly. That would be hard. And you gotta think of what Jesus’ mother experienced. WATCHING her Son die. Being beaten, battered and bruised…hung on a cross…just struggling to breathe. Watching Him take His last breath..again I ask, could you do that?

Last week at Oneless, the Lord spoke and said the following:
“How desperate, is desperate? How lost, is lost?
How desperate do you have to be to call for help? How completely and utterly lost do you have to be to finally ask for directions?
All you have to do is call My Name, and I will be there. No matter how faint the whisper, or loud the yell, I will swoop you up in My arms and save you. ”

Psalm 138:3
“The moment I called out, You stepped in; You made my life large with strength.”

I don’t think I need a question or a profound statement to end..I think it all speaks for itself.
Just let it…
Sink.
In.

-h

There’s Always A First:)

Posted in Smiles for Miles, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 3, 2009 by Haylei

So last Tuesday marked another first for Smiles for Miles!

I gave 12 bags of stuffed animals away that were going to Navajo Indian Reservations in New Mexico and Arizona, for Christmas. To my understanding, Johnny left with the 18 wheelers yesterday.

I must say, the feeling was absolutely overwhelming. No, it wasn’t over seas, but Smiles for Miles was created to give children hope for not just their future, but tomorrow…what better way than to recieve a soft little cuddle buddy on Christmas?

Short update, but the feeling I just can’t put into words.
I wanted to take a moment to thank, Tyler Hall. He helped me count over 1,000 stuffed animals earlier last week, and then got me hooked up with Johnny:) So thank you, dear. You just helped a part of my dream come so much more than just reality…it was a gift that was absolutely amazing. You have one huge heart and are destined to do great things for His Glory. I assure you that:)

To all the others that have been helping, Joan out at Salvation Army…I wouldn’t have been able to give that many stuffed animals away if it wasn’t for you. I love you.

To Mrs.Barb, and Mister Brown…You guys keep me sane! haha! With all those animals, I definitely needed a place for them all, and you guys are so graciously taking care of me. I love you guys.

First send off for Smiles for Miles

One step closer to the things to come for Smiles for Miles.

Remember, live love and love life.
You could be a child’s hope and life saver, just by giving a stuffed animal.

.:haylei:.

Baby steps and growing up.

Posted in Smiles for Miles, Visions:) with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 1, 2009 by Haylei

Much to inform all you reading about Smiles for Miles out there!
First off, special thanks to Joan out at Salvation Army who donated over 200 stuffed animals last week! Not to mention the hundred that I found through out the house! And I know I have another box somewhere…just gotta find it! Haha! That’s a task and a mission in itself right there. 😛

Alright, the even bigger news. Today, I got the papers I needed to legalize everything, and I must say…I’m overwhelmed with excitement. Everything just fell right into place. Mister George is one awesome man, and I have the honor of working with him. The thing that got me most, is that he prayed with me before I left. That spoke volumes to me, more than anything. It was just one more confirmation that this is where God’s leading me, and I couldn’t be happier.
As I was talking to Jeff earlier today, this is a big step. I felt like…well, a grown up. I mean, I’m almost 20 years old, you’d think I’d feel that by now, right? Well I felt it today. My mom might as well be my best friend…I mean, she’s the one I bounce off ideas with, express my feelings to..both good and bad. She’s just…there. Always has been…and I was taking this step, without her by my side. It was a little scary to be honest. No, I don’t need “mommy holding my hand”, but it’s nice to have that safety net, you know?
I felt like I finally broke through this wall. I’m so over joyed, I’ve been crying tears of HAPPINESS! 😀 Finally..some happy tears! ^_^

Also, thanks to Pastor James, I feel like I have another safety net, Mt.Olive. I feel like I’m no longer in this by myself, and that I have some stable support behind me. It’s still so very nerve racking though! I mean, I’m still young, and making some BIG steps here! I just know, that my God is ordering them by His will, and any where I go…He’s leading me and I’m not kicking any doors open:) That’s all I the comfort I need.

Thanks to all of those who prayed for favor today! I love you all so dearly. Keep it up! And keep spreading the word! Remember, live love, and love life. Hope is just around the corner for these kids!

-h

God Provided:) S4M

Posted in Smiles for Miles, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 20, 2009 by Haylei

So, here is the new update, for those of you bloggers reading out there:)

As of last night, I counted over 220 stuffed animals. My living room, was completely filled thanks to Amanda Trevena, my Uncle Donnie with Fire Station 1, Ruthie Forgey with The Salvation Army, Phil Brown and Mario Hood. And that was only last night. I still have MINE to count!

So…with counting all of those last night…I thought to myself, “I really need a storage unit. I can’t wait to legalize this for the tax forms..I need one ASAP. Lord…I need your help please!” And that’s exactly what He did.

I went into the storage place that my mom, as well as my office uses for storage, and talk to Ms. Barb:) Probably one of the sweetest ladies to ever be on this earth, and just happens to be in little ol’ Cleveland. I talked to her, told her about Smiles for Miles, and that I needed a storage unit, about a 5×10 if possible. She said that she had some openings, and it would be $55 monthly. I said, “That’s perfect. When can I have it?” She said, “We usually give the first month free, but ask you to pay the second month in advance, so we aren’t jipped.” Which is understandable. I asked if I could pay on Thursday (today), since I get paid on Thursdays, and she said, not a problem. We then got off topic somehow, and got into a long conversation. I was there an hour and didn’t even know it! After we had talked, I went over what I wrote down, so I made sure I didn’t forget anything. She then said, “You know what, I’m going to give you the rest of this month, as well as next month free. And you know..I’m not going to make you pay the $55 until October 1st. Don’t worry about it until then.” I about dropped to the floor. I thanked her, took my key, and left. Called my mom, joy and excitement overflowing..and then went home.

Now, if you don’t believe that was God, I have more.
I received a call today, at 12:44 pm. I was eating lunch with my family, hearing all the stories about when my mom and aunt were younger, and hearing about Brian and that darn cat BJ. It was hilarious. I was in the middle of laughing when I answered. It was Ms. Barb, and she said she had some news to tell me. She said, “I talked to Mr. Brown yesterday evening, and told him what you are starting up, and what you’re using the storage for. He told me to call and tell you, that we aren’t going to charge you until December.” I said, “You mean, I have until December first free!?” She said, “Well, he’s just going to let you have that. And if we need to use it, we will call and notify you, and put you in another one, big or small. Small being temporary until we can get you a bigger one. But yes, it’s free.” I told her what a blessing this was, and that I prayed that they would be greatly blessed and highly favored for what they had just given me! I then proceeded over to Ms. Barb’s building, walked in and gave you one BIG hug! She then asked me if I had gotten a lock yet, and I told her no, I was waiting till I received my paycheck today. She then finds an extra lock, and just gives it to me.

So lets see. 220 animals in one day.
A free 5×10 storage unit.
Then to top it all off, a free lock.
If you don’t believe that was God, you’re blind.

God provided TREMENDOUSLY!
So thanks to all of you who have been praying for this ministry and for me! You are so appreciated! I look forward to telling you all more!

Remember, live love…and love life.

-h

The Latest.

Posted in Smiles for Miles, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 13, 2009 by Haylei

Alright, so..it’s been a pretty crazy week to say the least. Smiles for Miles kinda laid low on the radar of my life, as finding a new place with my sister and mom, took precedence  over everything. Not to mention the moving in, which was killer. But, thankfully, we are basically all moved in and loving our new place. The next thing that took over, almost everything for the time being, was the passing of one of my dear friends, Spencer Kile Alford. Don’t ask me questions, just go here. But there’s life in death, and I’m rejoicing in the Lord, because I know he is in a better place. I love and miss him dearly, as does his other friends and family, but knowing that the joy, strength and peace of the Lord comes when I call His name, gets my through. For He is the I am, as King has reminded me, quite a bit.

SO! This brings me to my update for Smiles for Miles.
I have to get Smiles for Miles legalized as a non-profit organization, before I can get any tax write off forms, or basically anything else to do with that. From what I’m told, it’s going to take any where from 2 to possibly 4 or 5 months. So, for those of you reading, be praying that I am able to find an attorney that’s not only quick at what he/she does, but that it won’t cost me an arm and a leg..maybe even some toes. haha! Thank you in advance, for all of your prayers.

Also, I am getting stuffed animals like CRAZY! It’s AWESOME! I have bags, soon to be BARRELS full! Literally!! Miss Ruthie is going to be giving me BARRELS! How awesome is that?? But DO NOT LET IT STOP THERE! I can ALWAYS use more! I will find somewhere bigger to store them, as soon as possible. As of right now, they’re at my house, in my closet. haha:)

Last but not least, Charity Graff in Philippines as well as Paul Stockard in Paraguay have both contacted me this morning. Charity is over Gentle Hands, which I believe is a deaf orphanage. Paul is over Children of the Dump…and I think that name says everything needed. So what this now means, is that I have 2 more locations to send smiles and hope to. But, the catch is, they can’t come in the states and get them, they have to be shipped out, which is going to cost, quite a bit. But once again, I know God is going to supply the means in which this can be possible. Not sure how, but I remember seeing it, and I’m trusting and having faith, that He’s taking care of it:)

Thank you to all of you who are supporting me in this, and backing me up! Also, thank you to all who are donating animals, as well as anything else! You will be abundantly blessed! Remember, we aren’t just sending smiles, we are sending hope. If not for their future, just for tomorrow.

-h
Live.Love.Life.

peaceful serenity.

Posted in Poetry - God, Poetry - happy, Poetry - love with tags , , , , , on July 27, 2009 by Haylei

wind through my hair,
blowing it everywhere..
look up at the sky,
and whisper “hi.”

the sunset You made,
was perfect and great..
the colors swirled,
and the clouds twirled.

the top was back,
quietness no longer lacked..
as I took a deep breath in,
I closed my eyes and began to spin.

no longer were my shoulders heavy..
no longer my knees weak..
because now I stand steady,
for it was You I began to seek.

You came inside and took away,
all the hurt i thought would stay.
as the tears I cried I thought were on going..
you took inside your hands, me not knowing.

I took you for granted and you still gave..
above and beyond, and always stayed
with me until i fell asleep..
held me in Your arms, to keep.

I opened my eyes to feel my face expand..
because of the smile to see Your hand..
forever I’ll always love you..
and forever I’ll try and remain true.

sunsets never looked so vibrant,
and Your love never felt like a tyrant.
but tonight I stand amazed..
at the love You so wonderfully gave.

wind in my hair, blowing on my face..
stay with me, in my secret place.